Joe Andretti is a hospital porter living in New York, an eager member of the fan club of movie superstar, Candy Starr. One fine day, the way these things go in life, he suddenly snaps during a particularly boring session of the fan club and decides that instead of messing around looking at Candy's movies and assessing her artistic qualities, he is going to drop everything and fly to Hollywood, and get to know Candy in the biblical sense.

However and alas, Life thwarts him at every turn. Each moment that he takes a step towards meeting his heart's desire, little things and big things get in his way. He finds he owes his landlord money, and so must work weeks and hours of overtime to pay off the debt. And so it goes on. However much he plans and prepares, he seems glued into a world without Candy. Does he make it in the end and attain eternal happiness? Well does he?

Middle-aged and over weight British playwright Joe Green hasn't been able to write since the premiere of his play about a woman faced with a lifetime in a wheelchair a play not unlike the author's Duet for One. A young American actress who is suffering the debilitating effects of the illness that plagues the character in Joe's play wishes to procure the rights to perform in it Off-Broadway. A trans Atlantic telephone romance develops which shatters when Sarah finally meets Joe and realizes he is not the man of her dreams, but a mass of unkindness and self loathing.1 woman, 1 man